What is Love? Part 2: Love is not Rude

This is the second post in a series on 1 Corinthians 13, and it's all about love.  In my first post on this subject, What is Love? Part 1: Love is Patient and Kind, I wrote about the first part of this passage.  In this post, I will discuss 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.

“Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5)

Most of these words are pretty straight forward and mean what you’d think they mean.  Other versions say things like “love is not jealous,” “does not vaunt itself,” “is not puffed up” or “proud.”  But then we get to how love isn’t “rude.”  Other versions in English said that love “doesn’t behave indecently,” instead of “isn’t rude,” but both of those terms seemed pretty broad and vague to me.  The word being translated here in Greek means to be unbecoming or behave unseemly, and that word is derived from another word that means shapeless or inelegant.  To me this seemed like it meant that love is appropriate, and doesn’t step out of line.  Whether that’s in a romantic relationship, work relationship, friendship, or whatever, it’s a good rule to abide by. 

Think of how many friendships and romantic relationships have fallen away because of someone acting inappropriately or out of line?  And this could mean so many things.  If someone is spreading rumors about you behind your back while proclaiming love to your face, that is inappropriate, indecent, and rude.  If someone pressures you into divulging some intimate or painful detail about yourself before you are ready or when the time is not right, that is out of line and unbecoming.  Neither of these show love.

Love does not manipulate or behave like a child out of jealousy, but instead has confidence in the love that they show.  Love does not boast and put itself over others out of pride, but instead puts pride aside to embrace those around them and welcome them into their love.  Love is not rude, is not inappropriate, and does not step out of line, but is instead mindful of those around them; not poking at their sore spots, but trying to promote healing.