What is Love? Part 2: Love is not Rude

This is the second post in a series on 1 Corinthians 13, and it's all about love.  In my first post on this subject, What is Love? Part 1: Love is Patient and Kind, I wrote about the first part of this passage.  In this post, I will discuss 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.

“Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5)

Most of these words are pretty straight forward and mean what you’d think they mean.  Other versions say things like “love is not jealous,” “does not vaunt itself,” “is not puffed up” or “proud.”  But then we get to how love isn’t “rude.”  Other versions in English said that love “doesn’t behave indecently,” instead of “isn’t rude,” but both of those terms seemed pretty broad and vague to me.  The word being translated here in Greek means to be unbecoming or behave unseemly, and that word is derived from another word that means shapeless or inelegant.  To me this seemed like it meant that love is appropriate, and doesn’t step out of line.  Whether that’s in a romantic relationship, work relationship, friendship, or whatever, it’s a good rule to abide by. 

Think of how many friendships and romantic relationships have fallen away because of someone acting inappropriately or out of line?  And this could mean so many things.  If someone is spreading rumors about you behind your back while proclaiming love to your face, that is inappropriate, indecent, and rude.  If someone pressures you into divulging some intimate or painful detail about yourself before you are ready or when the time is not right, that is out of line and unbecoming.  Neither of these show love.

Love does not manipulate or behave like a child out of jealousy, but instead has confidence in the love that they show.  Love does not boast and put itself over others out of pride, but instead puts pride aside to embrace those around them and welcome them into their love.  Love is not rude, is not inappropriate, and does not step out of line, but is instead mindful of those around them; not poking at their sore spots, but trying to promote healing.      

World Changer

I have always wanted to impact the world in some way.  Everyone does, right?  That’s the “American dream.”  Fame, fortune, name in lights and on the lips of people all around the world.  And why?  Because I did something.  Me.  I am the great and powerful world changer.  Proclaim my name and talk about me. 

That’s exactly what I wanted a few years ago, until my soul had a crisis and I figured out that that way of thinking is just all wrong.

You will only be capable of changing the world when you are able to realize that you can’t.  Yes, you read that correctly; you cannot change the world.  In fact, there is very little that you yourself can actually do.  I am by no means saying that you are useless.  On the contrary, each and every person on this earth is an extremely valuable tool.  We are the most useful when we entirely surrender ourselves to our Master.  Imagine trying to build something when all your hammer wants is to go off and do its own thing. 

When we try to make a name for ourselves is when we will fail.  That’s when we start serving the wrong master; the master of death and destruction.  That’s what happened in Genesis 11, you may know it as The Tower of Babel Fiasco.  At that time, all of the people in the whole earth spoke the same language.  The people decided to build themselves a city with a tower “with its top in the heavens” and they said “let us make a name for ourselves,” (Genesis 11:4).  They were attempting to make a name for themselves and empower themselves, trying to physically put themselves on the same level as God.  So God confused their language.  He scattered them over the whole earth and made it so they could not understand each other.  This is just one example of our destiny of failure, if we take the path of self-righteousness.

In John chapter 15, verses 4 and 5, Jesus said “Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

As a believer in the Bible and Jesus, I firmly believe His words.  Without Him, we can do nothing, and with Him, we can do anything.  “I can do all things through Him who gives me power,” (Philippians 4:13).  If we want to change the world, I suggest that we put our own desires to do so aside, and instead seek what He wants for us.  

2 Corinthians 4:5-6 says “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.  For God, who said ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” The only way to change the world as we know for the better it is to speak life and truth and follow through with actions validate our words.  We need to proclaim the Light of Yeshua and the Truth of God and His Word, not ourselves.  Anything that we are outside of God is not worth proclaiming.

Psalm 27:2 continues to drop further wisdom on the subject, when it says “Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips.”  This is part of modesty.  We should not be proud and braggadocios, letting everyone know the good that we have done.  Instead, we should boast of our God, because to Him, all praises are due.  That way we will show the world what we are about, and what is good and true.

Psalm 44:8 “In God we have boasted continually, and we will give thanks to your name forever.  Selah.”

Psalm 52:1 “Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man?  The steadfast love of God endures all the day.”

Essentially, if you want to change the world, stop trying to.  Focus on God.  No matter what He tells you to do, do it.  It doesn’t matter how insignificant it may seem to you; if it is where God wants you, it is the most significant thing you could possibly do.  That is how you become a true world changer.