Have you ever felt like everything in life is working against you? Like, not just that things aren't going your way, but like you are in a constant battle in every area of your life just to take half a step forward, just to keep on existing, and you don't have any idea what is going to happen next because you keep thinking that nothing else bad could possibly happen, but the hits just keep coming?
My guess is that you have, at least on some level. We all seem to go through these cycles of life, sometimes worse than others, and we all usually feel at one time or another that there is no hope and no end to it. It can be really hard to have any hope for the future, and let me just tell you that you are not alone if you feel or have felt this way.
I myself have been feeling that way lately, like the world is working against me, and like I will never be making progress in life again. As is my habit, I have been turning to the Bible for counsel. I have been looking for motivation and advice from those who have gone before me and have gone through hard times and come out the other side. I found the perfect role model for this, and I'd like to introduce you to her. You probably already know her. She went through quite a bit of hardship in her time as well, and there was a lot that she had to live through that would have left her without hope, as well as very fearful for the future, had she not chosen to entrust herself to God. That woman is Queen Esther.
We always talk about Esther this time of year in many of the circles that I run in, with Purim right around the corner, but this year her story resonates with me more than usual. (For those of you who don't know, Purim is the Biblically-based holiday where we celebrate Queen Esther and the victory of the Jewish people by the hand of God against Haman, who was trying to have them all killed. The word "Purim" is a Hebrew word that means "lots," because they "drew lots" or cast dice to decide the day that the Jews were initially meant to be killed on. Check out this article from Chabad for more information.)
Most years for Purim we look at the story as a whole (which you should do if you haven't, by the way. You can read the Book of Esther on BibleGateway for free here.), but this time I am going to invite you to look at just Esther herself and what she can teach us about how to endure hardships.
Esther's given name was actually Hadassah, and from what we know about her formative years, she was no stranger to hardship. She lived in Susa (one of four capitals of the Achaemenid Persian Empire), and was raised by her cousin Mordecai, because her parents had passed away. We don't know why, or exactly when her parents died, but it had to have been when she was pretty young because her cousin is said to have "brought her up" in Esther 2. Esther 2 also tells us that they were in Persia in the first place because they had been carried into exile from Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar among those who were taken captive with King Jehoiachin of Judah. So she's starting out in exile from her own people, and an orphan being raised by her cousin. Already not an ideal situation.
The story starts with the king of the region (who the Bible tells us was a pretty powerful guy, ruling over 127 provinces stretching from India to Cush) starting his search for a new queen. To do this, he basically sent officials around to take any young, available women they could find, and bring them to a facility where they were to undergo beauty treatments for literally a year, at which time they were brought before the king one by one so he could pick which one he wanted to be his new queen. Anyone not chosen would be put with the other concubines, where they were kept together in isolation unless specifically requested by name by the king. They were not allowed to return to their families.
Esther was one of these women who was taken for her year of beauty treatments, and although we are told that she found favor with those in charge and was able to get the best that someone in her situation could hope for, I can't help but think that this was probably somewhat of a traumatic experience for her. She was taken from the only family she ever knew, she was living in secrecy (Mordecai had instructed her not to disclose her given name, nationality, or family background, which is why she is called Esther and not Hadassah), and had a vague hope of being queen, but the odds were that she would just be confined to the king's harem as a concubine for the rest of her life. Yet she continued to find favor with those in charge of her, and she actually was the one chosen to be Queen! Yay, right?
Wrong.
Some amount of time later, the king honors Haman the Agagite for something that he's done, putting him in a place of honor above all the other nobles, and commanding everyone to kneel to him and pay him honor. Well, Mordecai, Esther's cousin, chooses not to do this, and Haman is so offended that not only does he want Mordecai dead, but he finds out Mordecai's familial heritage, and he wants to kill all of Mordecai's people, the Jews, all through the entire kingdom. So, in order to make this happen, Haman tells the king about this people group who keep to themselves and have weird customs, so weird in fact that they don't obey the king's laws, and it would be in his best interest if they were wiped out. The king, trusting Haman and not realizing that his new wife is actually part of this people group, hand over his signet ring to Haman, giving him power, and tells him to have at it.
So now, Esther is still living in secrecy as queen, and her people have been sentenced to death. There's even a day picked out. Talk about hopeless. Even if she keeps her identity hidden, the rest of her family and her entire people group is about to be wiped out and she will be left all alone.
Esther's cousin Mordecai sent word to her that he wanted her to go before the king and ask for mercy for the Jewish people, and she is understandably hesitant. If she were to go before the king unannounced, the king could have her killed. Not only that, but the reason she is queen in the first place is because the queen before her broke the protocols for who is supposed to go before the king and when (she did not go when summoned), so this king is already pretty well known for not standing for people messing with his protocols.
Esther was put in an impossible position, and she knew that left to her own devices, she would likely die. In fact, when deciding what to do next, she says what is one of my very favorite verses from this book in Esther 4:16 (NIV):
“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
In her distress, she turns to the Lord. And this is one of the biggest things we can take from her response to hardship. She gathers her friends and family around her and prays, fasting for three days while doing so, all with the ultimate plan to put herself entirely in God's hands, trusting that He would either protect her, or she would die, and either way it would be His will.
This resonates with me so deeply as I go through some tough times of my own. In her darkest hour, Esther was on her knees before the Throne. She put everything else aside, even the very basic human needs of eating and drinking, so that she could urgently and diligently seek her Father's wisdom, trusting and knowing that He would make a way for her, and submitting to that way, even if it wasn't what she herself wanted.
As I sit here, not knowing where I am headed, but knowing that wherever it is, it may not be what I would choose, I can know with the wisdom of Esther that God will provide a way for me. All I have to do is trust Him.
We can even go one further, if we look at something that Mordecai said to Esther shortly before her prayer and fasting, and something that contributed to her decision on what to do. It is the most popular verse in this entire book, Esther 4:12-14 (NIV):
When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
Mordecai pointed out to Esther that God would still send someone to save His people, even if she did nothing. The only one who would be missing out on anything, is her. In fact, Mordecai tells her that it's quite possible that she has been put in this very position "for such a time as this." We know from the end of the story that this is, in fact, the case; Esther goes in to the king, he grants her permission to stay, and over the course of three nights she works up the courage to tell the king what is going on. He uses the information to sentence Haman to death, and although it's too late to take back the decree to kill the Jews, he puts out a new one telling the Jews that they can legally fight back, and they do, and the holiday of Purim is created in honor of the fact that the Jewish people were not wiped out by Haman thanks to Queen Esther and by the Hand of God. But the part I want to sit with for a moment is what Mordecai said to Esther, and the ramifications of it on anyone who goes through tumultuous times.
Esther was told that if she stayed quiet, God would raise up relief and deliverance from somewhere else. Why? Because that was His ultimate plan, and He was going to make sure that it happened. And she may be the one put there, in her exact situation, to be how God made His plan come about. The very idea that we may be put into what feels like a very bad situation so that God can do something greater through us than we could ever hope to accomplish is a little bit daunting.
But what it essentially means is this: The world may be broken, and we may feel like it is breaking us, but we cannot count out God using us, even in our most broken state (especially in our most broken state), to bring about relief, deliverance, hope, and joy to those around us. And just because we don't want to be in our situation doesn't mean that it isn't right where we are meant to be.
Have hope this Purim, this month, this year, this season of your life. Read the Book of Esther. Remember that God is always, always working in and through us, and that you may be put exactly where you are for such a time as this.
